What feelings can teach you about yourself – Let them out!
December 7, 2017
Are You In Charge of Your Giving This Year?
December 21, 2017
Emotions are messengers from the front lines of our mental fitness battle zone, but … we tend to kill the messenger instead of listening. When we listen, we find out how to fight the war successfully.
I’ve discovered that spending spend time reflecting upon my feelings helps to grasp what I believe about myself, others and different life situations. Then, instead of reacting impulsively to my feelings I respond to them with care and forethought.
Truly feeling our feelings can hurt and cause emotional upheaval, but it opens the door to growth, empathy, compassion, tolerance and, a better life. It takes commitment and courage to know how to respond to feelings in a healthy way.
I stuffed my feelings for many years… but, feelings look for an opening to get out. It took a diagnosis of major depression and anxiety, sick leave and a move to a women’s shelter with three children to motivate me to address the emotions I’d been denying. When I think about how many feelings I stuffed it reminds me of a volcano bubbling, and bubbling until it finally erupts. Personally, I believe my mental illness was a direct result of stuffing all my negative feelings.
During challenging times in my life, I often prayed to God, asking Him to “Give me strength.” I showed strength and resilience in dealing with challenging issues while stuffing feelings such as hurt, sorrow, frustration, overwhelm and anger. I’d say, “Put a smile on your face,” or “Fake it till you make it!” But I wasn’t making it. I was slowly falling apart.
After my mental health diagnosis, I became more honest with myself. I realized my need to let go of pride, being stoic and the need to help or fix others. I needed to focus on me, my emotions, my beliefs and my unhealthy reactions to them. My emotions are a window to the condition of my heart and I needed to view them carefully to see the truths they exposed.
Denying or stuffing emotions keeps energy pent up. Sooner or later breakdown occurs as the ongoing pressure is too much for our system. Many of us live in chronic despair and hopelessness because we fail to address and express the painful emotions we experience. Fearing shame and rejection we hide our feelings and the details behind our hurt. Although silence appears to be a safe path, it’s an invitation to a slow death as the pain eats away at our emotional and spiritual well-being like a cancer. Despair, hopelessness and depression become constant companions as they color our world a dull gray.
To work out your feelings and move beyond them consider the following three steps:
1. Identify your emotions (see feelings chart in last week’s blog)
2. Express your emotions appropriately with a safe person
3. Learn what beliefs are driving your emotions
Do you need help in addressing your feelings in a healthful way? Contact me at https://bettyfranklin.com/contact/
