Property Lines

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A helpful tool in building healthy relationships is learning to identify who owns what. Then we let each person own and possess his or her rightful property.

If another person has an addiction, a problem, a feeling, or a self-defeating behavior, that is their property, not ours. If someone is a martyr, immersed in negativity, controlling, or manipulative, that is their issue, not ours.

If someone has acted and experienced a particular consequence, both the behavior and the consequence belong to that person.

If someone is in denial or cannot think clearly on a particular issue, that confusion belongs to him or her.

If someone has a limited or impaired ability to love or care, that is his or her property, not ours. If someone has no approval or nurturing to give away, that is that person’s property.

People’s lies, deceptions, tricks, manipulations, abusive behaviors, cheating behaviors, and tacky behaviors belong to them too. Not us.

People’s hopes and dreams are their property. Their guilt belongs to them too. Their happiness or misery is also theirs. So are their beliefs and messages.

If some people don’t like themselves, that is their choice. Other people’s choices are their property, not ours.

What people choose to say and do is their business.

What is our property? Our property includes our behaviors, problems, feelings, happiness, misery, choices and messages; our ability to love, care, and nurture; our thoughts, our denial; our hopes and dreams for ourselves. Whether we allow ourselves to be controlled, manipulated, deceived, or mistreated is our business.

Learning an appropriate sense of ownership is our responsibility. If something isn’t ours, we don’t take it. If we take it, we learn to give it back. Let other people have their property, and learn to own and take good care of what’s ours.

Affirmation – Today I will work to develop a clear sense of what belongs to me, and what doesn’t. If it’s not mine, I won’t keep it. I will deal with myself, my issues, and my responsibilities. I will take my hands off what is not mine.

Excerpt from “The Language of Letting Go” by Melody Beattie.

To learn more about setting healthy property lines contact Betty at betty@bettyfranklin.com

Betty Franklin
Betty Franklin
Betty Franklin is a Mental Fitness & Wellbeing Expert. After a 30-year career working on the frontlines of healthcare, supporting and caring for people dealing with illness and disease, she transitioned her nursing career outside the institutional setting to help people stay healthy and live fuller, more vibrant lives. She does this through one-on-one coaching, delivering powerful seminars and her book called G.U.T.S. - Get Uncomfortable To Succeed, Embracing Health, Balance and Abundance. With a practical, well-rounded approach to mental and physical wellbeing, Betty's seminars and coaching program provide clients with clarity, direction and support to enhance their health and life. She simplifies what you need and want, how you can attain it, and helps you understand what's holding you back. People who work with Betty notice a clearer perspective emerging as they learn and grow, and as they stay accountable. Ultimately, they reach where they want to be faster, and with greater ease.